firegiveness.

it is another human characteristic that continues to blow me away. I have been forgiven by so many people. the most amazing forgiver of them all is Christ of course. forgiveness has to come through love. It is the love that we have for that one person that seeks forgiveness, that allows us to overcome the grudge or lack of trust, or anything else that has been bestowed upon the forgivee. love is blind. and love bares all. i love my friends. i love being loved.lol it is much better to be at peace with someone rather than to be at war. eaxception:ML. no peace for that guy. sorry. im very thankful for the people who have forgiven me. i love them dearly. i cant even bring to words the feeling i have towards some of my Friends. some repeated words: if its one thing I dedicate myself to, it is my friends. I wouldn't be anywhere without my friends.

Friends. The idea of friends is so unique. Friends sometimes come and go. And then there are friends that you keep throughout your entire life. Those are your true friends. The ones who you confide secrets that you would never come close to sharing with just some normal friend. I believe in friends so deeply. I dedicate myself to my closest friends. I will go to the end of the earth for the friends that I love the most. Sometimes I feel like I will put more into a friendship than the other person. But its ok cause that aspect of friendship is something I take seriously. But yes. I love my friends. and will fight by their side and fight to keep them.

just thinking. what else is new.

So I find myself thinking more than ever this past week. I mean i have always a complete pyscho analytical person. but its getting really bad. I let my thoughts really bring me down sometimes and create this mood that will linger for sometimes days on in. I think about stupid stuff. little insignificant things that most people would never think to think of.(lol) so here are some of my thoughts.
my friends, who the true friends are and my lack of guy friends. I know I hang out with mostly girls. ever since I was little. I assume it has to do something with the fact that my parents divorced and i have spent my entire life with two girls. because of this I admit i can be for lack of a better term a little "bitch" sometimes. but im not gay at all. and that has been something that has been asked of me constantly since about age 10.
who I have become in life. im kind of tired of it. this analytical mind. and my personality. which some people love. but you know its just one of those things where you have to say "so what. who cares??"
college. i have no idea where I would like to attend. and not too mention my grades arent exactly stellar and my SAT scores suck. school just boggles me.
my weight. yeah im weight conscience. that sucks too. and not so much lately. some working out and i've been pretty satisfied.
what I want to do with my life. I HAVE NO IDEA.
what have i done with my life so far? nothing. at all. I recently visited this amazingly talented kid. hes good at lots o things. for a moment i was jealous, but envy will destroy anything. so I let it go. but he really got me thinking "there is not one thing I am completely good at" which is ok. but there isnt anything that I am at least working on. like music. I have completely let music out of my lif save the fact that I am in choir. but it doesnt compare to sitting down with an actual instrument.it really dissapoints me. but for this one i am taking the initiative. cello. that is the instrument i have always wanted to master. and piano, maybe even more so then cello. and I want to pick up my lost, tenor. and maybe flute???iidddk.
there is so much more but, getting this much off my chest is satisfying enough. yesssssss the feeling of relief is glorious.P.S. im sorry if some parts dont make sense grammatically cause I didn't feel like editing. I just let my hands take control.

procrastination.

Of course I procrastinate. I believe its what makes me, me. It only makes life harder but every opportunity there is to procrastinate, I take it. ! never learn my lesson. As I type I'm procrastinating. I know that I should be working on Mr. Murphey's U.S. History assignment but blogging just is way more appealing then two outlines and two critical thinking's.oh well. like I said its part of me and i guess if it really bothered me I would do something about it. but I don't do anything so I guess it really doesn't bother me at all.

So it's 2:15 in the morning and I've decided to post my first blog.Do I have any new yer resolutions? no not really. Of course theres the typical try to be healthier and shed some pounds or trying to be a better person, but I like the way I am and theres nothing that needs to be resolved. But im sure this year will bring many new great adventure and I cant wait to take them on and learn many new lessons. its gonna be great and just like every other year its gonna go by in the blink of an eye.